First Annual Meeting of the American Equal Rights Association, New York City, May 9, 1867

Sojourner Truth, Address to the First Annual Meeting of the American Equal Rights Association, New York City, May 9, 1867 My friends, I am rejoiced that you are glad, but I don't know how you will feel when I get through. I come from another field-the country of the slave. They have got their liberty-so much good luck to have slavery partly destroyed; not entirely. I want it root and branch destroyed. Then we will all be free indeed. I feel that if I have to answer for the deeds done in my body just as much as a man, I have a right to have just as much as a man. There is a great stir about colored men getting their rights, but not a word about the colored women; and if colored men get their rights, and not colored women theirs, you see the colored men will be masters over the women, and it will be just as bad as it was before. So I am for keeping the thing going while things are stirring; because if we wait till it is still, it will take a great while to got it going again. White women are a great deal smarter, and know more than colored women, while colored women do not know scarcely anything. They go out washing, which is about as high as a colored woman gets, and their men go about idle, strutting up and down; and when the women come home, they ask for their money and take it all, and then scold because there is no food. I want you to consider on that, chil'n I call you chil'n; you are somebody's chil'n and I am old enough to be mother of all that is here. I want women to have their rights. In the courts women have no right, no voice; nobody speaks for them. I wish woman to have her voice there among the pettifoggers. If it is not a fit place for women, it is unfit for men to be there. I am above eighty years old; it is about time for me to be going. I have been forty years a slave and forty years free, and would be here forty years more to have equal rights for all. I suppose I am kept here because something remains for me to do, I suppose I am yet to help to break the chain. I have done a great deal of work; as much as a man, but did not get so much pay. I used to work in the field and bind grain, keeping up with the cradler; but men doing no more, got twice as much pay; so with the German women. They work in the field and do as much work, but do not got the pay. We do as much, we eat as much, we want as much. I suppose I am about the only colored woman that goes about to speak for the rights of the colored women. I want to keep the thing stirring, now that the ice is cracked. What we want is a little money. You men know that you get as much again as women when you write, or for what you do. When we get our rights we shall not have to come to you for money, for then we shall have money enough in our own pockets; and may be you will ask us for money. But help us now until we get it. It is a good consolation to know that when we have got this battle once fought we shall not be coming to you any more. You have been having our rights so long, that you think, like a slave-holder, that you own us. I know that it is hard for one who has held the reins for so long to give up; it cuts like a knife. It will feel all the better when it closes up again. I have been in Washington about three years, seeing about these colored people. Now colored men have the right to vote. There ought to be equal rights now more than ever, since colored people have got their freedom. I am going to talk several times while I am here; so now I will do a little singing. I have not heard any singing since I came here. Accordingly, suiting the action to the word, Sojourner sang, "We are going home." "There, children," said she, "in heaven we shall rest from all our labors; first do all we have to do here. There I am determined to go, not to stop short of that beautiful place, and I do not mean to stop till I get there, and meet you there, too."

What I learned from Lumosity

Lumosity is my daily brain game. As with anything requiring effort, there are parts I like and parts I don’t like. There are games that I am good at, I like those. There are some that I suck at, I do not like those. Lately, I have been paying particular attention to my self talk about the various games. I heard myself saying “I hate this game, I am terrible at it.” Or “I love this game, it’s my favorite!”  Then I decided to try an experiment. For the games I hate, I started to say, “Oh I love this game!” What do you think has begun to happen with my brain scores? Yep, you guessed it. I am getting better at the sucky games. Not only that, but, I am also improving on the games that I am already good at. It has a double affect!

And then,  decided to try this trick on myself for other areas of life.  First, I started to listen more closely to the negative chatter rattling around my head and then I began to redirect the conversation towards a more positive internal interaction. For example, when I recently heard myself saying, “you are going to flop, you are not prepared”, which is really a big lie, I reminded myself that I have been preparing for three weeks and even though, I don’t feel ready, I am prepared and I am going to kill it. What do you think has started to happen? Yep, you guessed it. I am starting to see a more awesome self! Try it for yourself.

A poem for a friend

She Shakes the Pillars of Heaven

Entering the sanctuary,
I met the tribunal
Bearded, solemn,
Ignorant to the ways of love
From the vestibule came tea
With sugar cubes and curiosity
Who is she that shakes the pillars of heaven?
It is I, Maryam

Rose

Rilke & Roses

Where is there for this inner an outer?

Upon which hurt does one lay such fine linen?

And which heavens are reflected within them, upon the interior seas of these open roses, these carefree ones; see:

how loose in looseness

they lie, as if a trembling hand

could never tip them over.

They can hardly hold themselves

erect; many allow themselves

be filled all too full and flow

over from inner space

into the days, which, ever

more and more full, close in upon themselves,

until the entire summer becomes

a chamber, a chamber in a dream.

Rainer Maria Rilke, the Inner Rose

Count your blessings

This post is for my lovely colleague, Aileen, who thinks that I might have something interesting to say. Come on Aileen!

My love/hate relationship with Holland is not a well-kept secret. In the early days, after the excitement wore off and there was no backing out, I made lists of things I liked about Holland to psyche myself out of scraping the whole experiment.

Here are a few of those things:

1. Flowers
2. Bikes & biking everywhere
3. Convenient shopping with cheap, high-quality wine!
4. Safe, clean public environment (spittle, dog poop and graffiti not withstanding)
5. Public transportation (four years without a car)
6. Inexpensive health insurance and care ( a double-edged sword)
7. Flex-time
8. Direct/No-nonsense communication (also a double-edged sword)
9. The sacredness of vacation
10. The sharing of domestic duties (A Dutch partner worth his weight in gold)

These things, here in black and white, make a pretty good argument for sticking around.

Thanks, Dear Aileen, for getting me back on track.

It is none of my business and I am going to tell you anyway

A few weeks ago, Rob & I had dim sum with some friends in Amsterdam (a fantastic day that involved day drinking Belgian beer and another great meal at Gandhi). Two of the women at the table, both ex-pats, work for the same Dutch-based international electronics company. As you can imagine, there was a good bit of BM&G-ing (Bitch, Moan & Groan) happening around the lazy Susan regarding work life in the Netherlands.

This discussion got me thinking about what I have learned in my four years working in Holland and how this might help those of you currently suffering the culture shock of the Dutch work environment. Here are four things to remember about your work environment in Holland. They also apply to life in general as an ex-pat in the Netherlands.

1. No one will welcome you

2. No one will adapt for you

3. If you want something, you must ask explicitly

4. Pro-active means to complain

Do not expect a welcome or an introduction from Dutch colleagues. If you are lucky, someone will ask you a lot of personal questions, but don’t mistake this for caring, she's just curious. The Dutch do not like foreigners and they have no problem expressing this fact.

Don’t expect to be included in coffee conversations, unless you are already fluent in Dutch ( don’t worry, they are just chatting about the weather and knocking each other down, since this what most jokes are based on). Tact and social graces are not a part of the working culture; get used to it.

Don’t expect your manager to pick up on subtle clues. If you want something or need to right a wrong, you must explicitly discuss it. Do not expect your manager to ask how you are getting along; she assumes that if something is wrong, you will come to her ( I use the pronoun "her" ironically here, since there are zero lady managers around here).

If you are wondering how to get promoted, don’t worry, it is easy, especially if you are young. Go to your manager and tell him you don’t like your current project. He will find another one, usually better and with more responsibility, to keep you happy, since you are young and valuable…oops, this only works if you are Dutch.

On the upside, the coffee is always flowing!