My Handsome Dutch Partner

# 6~Bus 300 affair~Fairy Princess

Winter,s Fairy Princess by digitalwizard

I am a fairy princess and an engineer.
First, I had to work very,very hard to become an engineer, but before that I had to wait and wait.

I had to do a lot of things for other people. Some of those people didn't appreciate the sacrifices I made for the sake of their SUCCESS. It turns out that my idea of success is different from some of those people's.

So, at a certain point in time, I had to go my separate way. I took the road less travelled and it has made all the difference.

Make no mistake, the road to Fairyland is not an easy one. In fact, it is hidden.
Hidden in plain sight. That is why not many of us find it. And once we find it, it is easy to take a wrong turn, get off track and lose the way.

There are many clues along the way and many magical creatures who whisper  "come with me. Don't go that way, it's too hard." If you want to come along, listen and Trust. We know the way.


Note to reader: This is all me ( ok the muse had a part in it :-))

# 7~Bus 300 affair~The Dream and the Dreamer

Help me,
Help me in my journey back
to where it all began.
Help me remember the dream and to wake up from it.
Help me remember not to be seduced by the beauty and not to be perturbed by the ugliness.
Help me to remember everyday's purpose; to forgive the dream and the dreamer
and to remember that we are not WE, but we are ONE in the same place
where it all began
with a tiny "what if?"

Note to reader: I am not really sure if this is original. I usually give credit in my journal for quotes & there is none. So please don't sue me if it is gathered from another source.

Catharsis

I found my old journal from 2007 and 2008 today while I am sorting out my books. Books, too many books. Rob doesn't like me to have so many books.

Back to the story. To make a short story long, this is the most significant book that I have almost completed. It contains thoughts, dreams, mediations and a tarot card reading. This period was the time when I decided to leave my second husband Everett Thomas Swint. I also assisted my sisters to place my demented (frontal lobe injury) father into the Veteran's home, a locked facility, in Fayetteville, Arkansas. These were the best of times and the worst of times.

I would like to share a few of these meditations in the next few days as a way to process my feelings about what is happening on our EARTH today. Thanks for listening.

xS

Social Distortion

I will never forgive you for your deed that day
When the hummus had too much garlic and
We were deafened by Social Distortion
And my lover turned his head away

First Annual Meeting of the American Equal Rights Association, New York City, May 9, 1867

Sojourner Truth, Address to the First Annual Meeting of the American Equal Rights Association, New York City, May 9, 1867 My friends, I am rejoiced that you are glad, but I don't know how you will feel when I get through. I come from another field-the country of the slave. They have got their liberty-so much good luck to have slavery partly destroyed; not entirely. I want it root and branch destroyed. Then we will all be free indeed. I feel that if I have to answer for the deeds done in my body just as much as a man, I have a right to have just as much as a man. There is a great stir about colored men getting their rights, but not a word about the colored women; and if colored men get their rights, and not colored women theirs, you see the colored men will be masters over the women, and it will be just as bad as it was before. So I am for keeping the thing going while things are stirring; because if we wait till it is still, it will take a great while to got it going again. White women are a great deal smarter, and know more than colored women, while colored women do not know scarcely anything. They go out washing, which is about as high as a colored woman gets, and their men go about idle, strutting up and down; and when the women come home, they ask for their money and take it all, and then scold because there is no food. I want you to consider on that, chil'n I call you chil'n; you are somebody's chil'n and I am old enough to be mother of all that is here. I want women to have their rights. In the courts women have no right, no voice; nobody speaks for them. I wish woman to have her voice there among the pettifoggers. If it is not a fit place for women, it is unfit for men to be there. I am above eighty years old; it is about time for me to be going. I have been forty years a slave and forty years free, and would be here forty years more to have equal rights for all. I suppose I am kept here because something remains for me to do, I suppose I am yet to help to break the chain. I have done a great deal of work; as much as a man, but did not get so much pay. I used to work in the field and bind grain, keeping up with the cradler; but men doing no more, got twice as much pay; so with the German women. They work in the field and do as much work, but do not got the pay. We do as much, we eat as much, we want as much. I suppose I am about the only colored woman that goes about to speak for the rights of the colored women. I want to keep the thing stirring, now that the ice is cracked. What we want is a little money. You men know that you get as much again as women when you write, or for what you do. When we get our rights we shall not have to come to you for money, for then we shall have money enough in our own pockets; and may be you will ask us for money. But help us now until we get it. It is a good consolation to know that when we have got this battle once fought we shall not be coming to you any more. You have been having our rights so long, that you think, like a slave-holder, that you own us. I know that it is hard for one who has held the reins for so long to give up; it cuts like a knife. It will feel all the better when it closes up again. I have been in Washington about three years, seeing about these colored people. Now colored men have the right to vote. There ought to be equal rights now more than ever, since colored people have got their freedom. I am going to talk several times while I am here; so now I will do a little singing. I have not heard any singing since I came here. Accordingly, suiting the action to the word, Sojourner sang, "We are going home." "There, children," said she, "in heaven we shall rest from all our labors; first do all we have to do here. There I am determined to go, not to stop short of that beautiful place, and I do not mean to stop till I get there, and meet you there, too."

What I learned from Lumosity

Lumosity is my daily brain game. As with anything requiring effort, there are parts I like and parts I don’t like. There are games that I am good at, I like those. There are some that I suck at, I do not like those. Lately, I have been paying particular attention to my self talk about the various games. I heard myself saying “I hate this game, I am terrible at it.” Or “I love this game, it’s my favorite!”  Then I decided to try an experiment. For the games I hate, I started to say, “Oh I love this game!” What do you think has begun to happen with my brain scores? Yep, you guessed it. I am getting better at the sucky games. Not only that, but, I am also improving on the games that I am already good at. It has a double affect!

And then,  decided to try this trick on myself for other areas of life.  First, I started to listen more closely to the negative chatter rattling around my head and then I began to redirect the conversation towards a more positive internal interaction. For example, when I recently heard myself saying, “you are going to flop, you are not prepared”, which is really a big lie, I reminded myself that I have been preparing for three weeks and even though, I don’t feel ready, I am prepared and I am going to kill it. What do you think has started to happen? Yep, you guessed it. I am starting to see a more awesome self! Try it for yourself.