Rose

Rilke & Roses

Where is there for this inner an outer?

Upon which hurt does one lay such fine linen?

And which heavens are reflected within them, upon the interior seas of these open roses, these carefree ones; see:

how loose in looseness

they lie, as if a trembling hand

could never tip them over.

They can hardly hold themselves

erect; many allow themselves

be filled all too full and flow

over from inner space

into the days, which, ever

more and more full, close in upon themselves,

until the entire summer becomes

a chamber, a chamber in a dream.

Rainer Maria Rilke, the Inner Rose

Count your blessings

This post is for my lovely colleague, Aileen, who thinks that I might have something interesting to say. Come on Aileen!

My love/hate relationship with Holland is not a well-kept secret. In the early days, after the excitement wore off and there was no backing out, I made lists of things I liked about Holland to psyche myself out of scraping the whole experiment.

Here are a few of those things:

1. Flowers
2. Bikes & biking everywhere
3. Convenient shopping with cheap, high-quality wine!
4. Safe, clean public environment (spittle, dog poop and graffiti not withstanding)
5. Public transportation (four years without a car)
6. Inexpensive health insurance and care ( a double-edged sword)
7. Flex-time
8. Direct/No-nonsense communication (also a double-edged sword)
9. The sacredness of vacation
10. The sharing of domestic duties (A Dutch partner worth his weight in gold)

These things, here in black and white, make a pretty good argument for sticking around.

Thanks, Dear Aileen, for getting me back on track.

It is none of my business and I am going to tell you anyway

A few weeks ago, Rob & I had dim sum with some friends in Amsterdam (a fantastic day that involved day drinking Belgian beer and another great meal at Gandhi). Two of the women at the table, both ex-pats, work for the same Dutch-based international electronics company. As you can imagine, there was a good bit of BM&G-ing (Bitch, Moan & Groan) happening around the lazy Susan regarding work life in the Netherlands.

This discussion got me thinking about what I have learned in my four years working in Holland and how this might help those of you currently suffering the culture shock of the Dutch work environment. Here are four things to remember about your work environment in Holland. They also apply to life in general as an ex-pat in the Netherlands.

1. No one will welcome you

2. No one will adapt for you

3. If you want something, you must ask explicitly

4. Pro-active means to complain

Do not expect a welcome or an introduction from Dutch colleagues. If you are lucky, someone will ask you a lot of personal questions, but don’t mistake this for caring, she's just curious. The Dutch do not like foreigners and they have no problem expressing this fact.

Don’t expect to be included in coffee conversations, unless you are already fluent in Dutch ( don’t worry, they are just chatting about the weather and knocking each other down, since this what most jokes are based on). Tact and social graces are not a part of the working culture; get used to it.

Don’t expect your manager to pick up on subtle clues. If you want something or need to right a wrong, you must explicitly discuss it. Do not expect your manager to ask how you are getting along; she assumes that if something is wrong, you will come to her ( I use the pronoun "her" ironically here, since there are zero lady managers around here).

If you are wondering how to get promoted, don’t worry, it is easy, especially if you are young. Go to your manager and tell him you don’t like your current project. He will find another one, usually better and with more responsibility, to keep you happy, since you are young and valuable…oops, this only works if you are Dutch.

On the upside, the coffee is always flowing!